Jon Stewart opens SummerSlam with a promo about the event and the crowd HATES it. Stewart gets the “What?” treatment and the NYC crowd cheers when he mentions Rollins and boos the mention of Cena. Stewart goes on for a bit longer and introduces Mick Foley and out he comes to a pop. The two interact in what is a very lackluster and pretty bad segment.
-We see an intro promo video to hype the event
-We get pyro and the show actually begins
Randy Orton vs Sheamus
Orton goes for the RKO right from the bell and Sheamus bails out of the ring. Sheamus leaves the ring and grabs a mic as a “You look stupid chant breaks out” and says everyone in the crowd looks stupid and not him. Orton attacks him from the outside but Sheamus gains control and works Orton over.
Sheamus hits Irish Curse twice and yells “Are you not entertained?” and the crowd yells “NO!”. Sheamus continues to work over Orton on the mat until Orton fights back. Orton is grounded again by a big knee and Sheamus is back in control.
The Celtic Warrior stays in control of Orton, but Orton finally comes back and hits his backbreaker and a huge exploder suplex dumping Sheamus out of the ring. Orton is finally in control but Sheamus hits a slam for a two count and regains control and locks in a modified cloverleaf. The Apex Predator forces a rope break and dodges a Brogue Kick and hits the snap powerslam for a two count. Sheamus gets hung up on the top rope and Orton hits the hangman’s DDT from the top rope and the crowd chants for an RKO but Sheamus rolls out of the ring.
Sheamus goes for the slingshot shoulder but is hit by an RKO but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Orton brings the action back in and goes for the punt but misses and is hit with White Noise for a near fall. Orton misses an RKO and is hit with a Brogue Kick in the corner followed by another Brogue Kick and gets the win.
New Day vs Lucha Dragons vs Los Matadores vs Primetime Players for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Kofi starts with Titus but Big E tags Titus and goes to pin Kofi for the loophole victory but it is broken up. The Lucha Dragons are now in with Kofi and hit an innovative monkey flip for a near fall. Big E. back in now and Kalisto uses his speed to slow down the big man and hits the handspring elbow. Darren Young tags himself in and Kalisto continues flip around like a flea. Kofi is now back in with Young and the two go back and forth. Los Matadores is now in with Young and they work double teams on Young. Kofi now works over Young and tags in Big E. and the New Day is back in control.
Titus gets the hot tag and cleans house and now the champs are in control. Los Matadores gain control and we get some fast paced high spots and that leaves Titus and one of the Matadores as the legal men. The Lucha Dragons come in and we get a tower of doom spot then Titus hits the clash of the Titus. Kofi made a blind tag however and steals the pinfall.
Dolph Ziggler vs Rusev
Ziggler tries to get in some offense but is dropped instantly. Dolph comes back but is overpowered by the brute, Rusev. Rusev works over Ziggler as Summer cheers him on. Rusev continues to over power Dolph and goes for a press slam but Dolph counters it into a DDT and both men are down. Ziggler finally fires up and gains control of the match somewhat until Rusev hits the spinning heel kick for a near fall.
Rusev is now frustrated and climbs up top. Ziggler cuts him off and nails a facebuster for a near fall. Rusev powers back and lands an impressive somersault senton. He misses the big kick and is rolled up by Ziggler for two. Ziggler then locks in the sleeper hold but Rusev gets the rope break but the referee doesn’t break the hold for whatever reason. Rusev powers out but eats a FameAsser for another near fall. Both men are back up and Rusev nails the big kick and goes for the Accolade. Lana pleads with Dolph to not tap and her and Summer get into it. Rusev is distracted and breaks the hold and Ziggler rolls out of the ring. Summer takes out Lana from behind and Dolph hits a superkick on Rusev as both men are counted out.
-After the match. Dolph and Rusev keep going at it with one another until Summer attacks Dolph. Lana comes in and attacks Summer and Dolph and Rusev break up their women.
Stardust and King Barrett vs Stephen Amell and Neville
Neville and Barrett start things off and we see the typical speed based offense of Neville until Barrett tags in Stardust. Neville looks at Stardust and he says “I want him!” talking about Amell. Neville makes the tag and Amell springboards and stares down Stardust. Amell gets shoved down but kips up and shoves down Stardust. Amell shows great agility and hits a hip toss onto Stardust forcing him to tag in Barrett. The Cosmic King starts to work over Amell and Stardust tags back in. The two double team Amell and Barrett continues to work him over sending him to the outside. Stardust tags back in and continues to work on the tv star and gets a near fall. Amell hits an enzugiri and makes the tag to Neville who quickens the pace with his offense. Neville hits the Phoenix Splash and goes for a springboard to the outside but Amell stops him and flies out onto the two on his own. Amell rolls Barrett back into the ring and Neville hits the Red Arrow for the win.
Big Show vs Miz vs Ryback for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Miz dips out of the ring and the big men go at it. Miz gets into the miz and Big Show goes for the double choke slam but Ryback and Miz go for a double suplex. Show reverses and suplexes both men and takes control. Show climbs the top rope and hits a somersault on Ryback. After more back and forth Ryback nails a spinebuster on the Big Show and goes for a Meathook but its reversed. Ryback hits Shell Shock on Show and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryback for a near fall. Miz then goes to pin Show for only two. Show hits the KO punch but Miz breaks up the pin. Big Show hits the KO punch on Miz and Ryback sends Big Show to the outside. Ryback pins the Miz to retain.
-We see Jon Stewart backstage at Lesnar’s locker room and he knocks on the door. Out comes Heyman. Stewart starts to talk about the Streak and how it was bad for the WWE. Heyman doesn’t seem to care. Heyman starts to sing “Glory, Glory, Brock Lesnar” and goes back into the locker room.
Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper vs Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose
Ambrose and Harper start things off and Ambrose hits an early bulldog. Harper is sent outside and Ambrose hits the suicide dive. Wyatt gets sent over the railing by Reigns and Ambrose dives over the barricade onto Wyatt.
Ambrose and Harper are back in the ring now and Reigns and Ambrose hit some double teams and get a two count. Wyatt gets back involved and him and Reigns go at it from the outside. Harper hits a suicide dive and then Ambrose hits a suicide dive and Bray and Harper take control.
Harper and Wyatt work over Ambrose as Reigns lays on the outside being a non factor. This goes on for about five minutes and the crowd chants “Roman’s stupid” and Reigns is tagged in randomly.
We get the typical Reigns comeback and they double powerbomb Harper. Wyatt is hit with Dirty Deeds and Reigns readies for the spear and hits it for the win.
John Cena vs Seth Rollins for the WWE United States Championship and the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Rollins and Cena start off with your typical back and forth to start a match. Cena grounds the champ and keeps him there for a bit. Rollins fights back and hits the blockbuster and sends Cena to the outside then hits two suicide dives. He goes back in again and hits a third but this time its a somersault plancha and he brings Cena back into the ring and hits slingblade for a near fall.
Cena goes for the springboard stunner but botches it and hits five knuckle shuffle for two. Rollins hits Meteora followed by a standing shooting star for a two count. The two men battle on the top turnbuckle until Rollins traps Cena into the tree of woe and hits a diving footstomp for another two count.
Cena hits the AA out of nowhere for a near fall. Cena counters the Pedigree into an electric chair drop for another near fall and then goes up top for the leg drop for another near fall. After another botch by Cena, Rollins hits a corner powerbomb and a massive frog splash that Cena no sells into the AA but Rollins lands on his feet. Rollins rolls through and hits the AA on Cena for a near fall.
Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash and Cena locks in the STF, Rollins breaks free and counters another AA. After blocking the Pedigree again, Cena locks on the Figure Four but Rollins reverses it but Cena gets to the rope.
Rollins sets up Cena for a superplex and hits it, then rolls through into a Falcon Arrow for a near fall. Rollins goes for the Phoenix Splash but misses and gets hit with an AA but the referee is knocked out of the ring. Rollins knees Cena in the nose again and both men are down.
Jon Stewart runs out with a chair and hits Cena with it, Rollins hits the Pedigree on the chair and gets the pin.
Team PCB vs Team BAD vs Team Bella Single Elimination Tag Match
Becky and Brie start off with some basic moves and taunts until Tamina superkicks Becky. Team Bad works Becky over in the corner. They continue to work over Becky with quick tags in and out. Tamina sends Becky to the outside but Charlotte spears Tamina and then Sasha and Naomi hit somersault planchas, not to be outdone the Bellas hit double suicide dives leaving Paige and Alicia fighting in the ring. Alicia is sent outside and Paige hits a somersault off the top to take out all the Divas.
Tamina and Becky are back in but Brie tags in and hits a facebuster to eliminate Team BAD.
Nikki hits the Rack Attack on Becky but Paige and Charlotte make the save. Paige is now legal and starts to beat down Nikki and hits the fall away slam. Nikki rolls to the outside and counters a baseball slide into the Alabama slam onto the floor.
Back inside and the Bellas hit a double flapjack onto Paige and Brie works her over on the mat. Brie does the Bryan kicks but Paige counters into a roll up for a near fall. Alicia tags in and goes to work on Paige. Team Bella works Paige over for a long time.
Paige finally gets a hot tag to Charlotte and she cleans house and locks in the Figure Eight on Alicia but it’s broken up. Alicia and Charlotte both hit each other with big boots and they tag out to Brie and Becky. Brie goes to the top rope and misses a missile dropkick and is hit with a pumphandle slam by Becky for the win.
Cesaro vs Kevin Owens
Owens and Cesaro start off countering each other and going back and forth until Owens sends Cesaro outside and hits a somersault plancha. Owens rolls Cesaro back in and goes to taunt Cole but Cesaro flies out with a corkscrew body splash.
Cesaro goes for the swing but it’s countered so he hits the foot stomp and Owens retreats to the outside. Cesaro follows but gets sent into the barricade and then Owens hits the cannonball and brings it back in. Owens keeps Cesaro grounded until Cesaro comes back but Owens hits a spinning neckbreaker followed by a somersault leg drop to keep Cesaro grounded. Cesaro battles back and hits a huge slam and an uppercut.
Owens goes up top but is met with an uppercut and then deadlift suplexes Owens for a two count. Cesaro can’t hit the Neutralizer as Owens back drops him. Owens hits a springboard tornado DDT for two. Cesaro powers up and goes to start his attack, but runs into a huge superkick for another two count.
Cesaro is able to hit the springboard uppercut and the action spills outside. The Swiss Superman gets a full head of steam and uppercuts Owens. Back in the ring Cesaro hits the swing followed by the sharpshooter. Owens gets the break and mounts a comeback.
Cesaro rushes Owens but gets caught with the pop up powerbomb and Owens gets the win.
Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar
Brock attacks Undertaker immediately but The Deadman fights back and sends Lesnar to the outside.
Lesnar gets back in the ring and the bell finally rings. Undertaker stuns Lesnar and works the arm for Old School but gets caught in the F5. The Phenom counters and goes for a chokeslam but gets belly to bellied and then germaned. Undertaker counters another German and hits snake eyes and a big boot to send Brock to the outside.
Lesnar is rammed into the barrier and set up for the leg drop and hits it. Brock counters another chokeslam attempt and hits a third, fourth and fifth German.
Brock clears the announce table but Undertaker catches him and goes for the Last Ride, Brock counters and hits the F5 through the announce table.
Undertaker barely gets back in at a count of 9 and Undertaker looks done as Brock taunts and stalks his prey. Undertaker hits a HUGE chokeslam out of nowhere and both men are down.
Undertaker hits a tombstone but Lesnar kicks out at two and both men are down again. Both men sit up and start swinging until Brock locks in the kimura. The Deadman hits the Last Ride but only gets two.
Lesnar hits a second F5 for two and then a third for two.
Undertaker locks in the Hell’s Gate but Brock reverses into the kimura.
The bell randomly rings and the match is over?
Taker with a low blow and then locks in the Hell’s Gate again and Brock gives Undertaker the finger and passes out. The bell rings again and the Undertaker is now the winner. DUMBEST finish in WWE history.
